XBLA Wednesdays 09/03/08

It's a shame I didn't think to do an entry like this any time last month when amazing games were being released every week on XBLA. Than again, that would've actually required some effort.

Shred Nebula: Do you want to know the secret of the Shred? Well, I'm not sure what the big secret is, but apparently it involves too much shit going on at once. In Shred Nebula you race through a series of pathways shooting down baddies and collecting power-ups. Sounds like your typical shooter. The problem lies in the fact that you have to navigate around corners while sloppily shooting at oncoming enemies. You're all over the controller too, holding LT to move, LB to go backwards, RB to bring up shields, X to shoot, and A for special weapons. Trying to press all these at once is awkward to say in the least.

The goal of each level seems to be survive a series of twist and turns, while killing everything that moves, and collecting anything that doesn't. Once you reach the end of the stage, if you've collected enough shit you can warp to the next level. That's about all there is to it. I'm sure you'll run into more complex levels, with more guys, and more power-ups. But that seems to be about all you'll be doing.

The game just feels sloppy, and things are pretty cluttered. The demo only lets you play the tutorial, and a short stage afterwards - so I can't speak for the entire game. However I don't really see the core problems changing anytime soon. While I wouldn't recommend downloading this, I would like to direct you to the trailers of the game which can also be found on X-Box Live - they're amazing.

Gin Rummy: I'm sure fans of Gin Rummy will enjoy this one. Me? I don't know how to play Gin Rummy, so I played the game for all of 30 seconds. Done

Pirates V Ninjas Dodgeball : This game is fucking terrible, do not waste your time or bandwidth downloading it. It's your typical Game Cock garbage. How much fun did you think a Dodgeball game could be anyway? You run around a field with the camera pulled way back, and you collect one of two balls to throw at the other team. The balls are pretty much homing balls, so they'll hit you most of the time regardless of dodging. Whoever can pickup the ball over and over again in quick succession will win. That's all there is to it.

Also, it's great that they decided to cash in on this "new" internet meme. Pirates vs. Ninjas? Who would've thought!

In other news...

Jonathan Blow, creator of Braid sure likes to talk a lot. The man is at least tolerable to listen to unlike Denis Dyack, but he can't see to stop pushing his opinions on everyone else. He doesn't think you should use a guide to play Braid with and he can't seem to stop reminding us of that little fact. He also likes to trash talk successful games like World of Warcraft and Bioshock.

I enjoyed Braid, John. But it wasn't that great.